Self-esteem supports emotional health in big ways. “Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall subjective evaluation of their worth or value, abilities, qualities, and characteristics,” explains Sanam Hafeez, PhD, a practicing neuropsychologist in New York City and the director of Comprehend the Mind.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines self-esteem as: “the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive.” It includes one’s physical self-image, their personal view of their accomplishments and capabilities, and their perception of other people’s response to their whole person. And APA notes that low self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness can be depressive symptoms.
Self-esteem is very personal, and it’s impacted by upbringing, culture, and even age and stage of life.
Some general trends persist. For a lot of people, self-esteem dips during adolescence, before improving and stabilizing during young and middle adulthood when a person’s “sense of self,” their capabilities, and accomplishments become more clear, Dr. Hafeez explains (and research backs up).
But, things like health problems, which can hinder personal independence, and changes in employment status, which can lead to decreases in income and economic stability have been linked to worsening self-esteem later in life, according to other research.
“Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of mental well-being, as it influences how we think, feel, and behave in different situations,” says Annia Raja, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in California. She points out that low self-esteem is strongly associated with negative mental health outcomes, including depression and anxiety, per research, as well as negative physical health outcomes, too. “There are established associations with low self-esteem and substance use [according to research], eating disorders [per a study], chronic stress [per another study], and cardiovascular outcomes [per other data] like hypertension, heart disease, and stroke,” she says.
So, if you’re feeling down on yourself, what are some ways to boost self-esteem to lift your overall emotional health? Here are 10 tips that could help.
1. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
While self-esteem is ultimately about how you see and talk to yourself, positive messages from others, as well as exposure to people who exude healthy self-esteem can help you see yourself in an improved or different light.
That’s in part because social circles can help perpetuate habits, good and bad, research has found. Developing relationships with people who encourage you to pursue your unique interests and skills, and who embrace a growth mindset, rather than a stagnant one, can be helpful. “Put active effort into cultivating supportive and fulfilling relationships with people in your life. Research indicates that social support is crucial for self-esteem,” Dr. Raja says.
2. Look Inward for Validation, Not Outward
While seeking external validation is common and (depending on the source) can be helpful, it’s important to turn inward for self-validation as well. Taking the time to think about and assess your own positive traits and skills can help you start to develop the positive self-talk that ultimately improves self-esteem. “Reflect on your strengths, values, and accomplishments. Acknowledge your unique qualities and embrace your individuality,” says Angela Ficken, LICSW, a psychotherapist in private practice in Boston.
You can start small, with a single “I’m really good at …” phrase, and build from there. “Focus on your strengths rather than flaws or perceived weaknesses. Identifying and acknowledging your strengths can boost self-esteem by fostering a sense of competence and self-worth,” says Raja.
3. Stop the Negative Self Talk
It’s equally important to stop negative self-talk. It’s easy to get into a cycle of self-blame when something doesn’t go quite as planned. Catching yourself thinking this way, then changing the internal dialogue, can help you prioritize growth over perfection, according to Hafeez.
Negative self-talk isn’t always a self-critique of specific characteristics or traits, though. It can also be an outlook as to whether something is possible, or you’re capable of achieving a goal you want to achieve.
“Research suggests that positive self-talk can lead to improved self-esteem and emotional well-being. Instead of saying, ‘I can’t do this,’ try saying, ‘I can do this, I just need to take it one step at a time,’” says Hafeez.
4. Set Realistic Goals
Setting and achieving goals can be a way to develop self-esteem because you’re able to see your capabilities expanding. But, it’s incredibly important to set realistic and attainable goals, meaning ones that, according to research, are moderately difficult to attain, but not out of reach.
“Research shows that SMART goal setting (SMART stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-based) and goal achievement are linked to increased self-esteem and well-being,” says Raja.
Ficken also emphasizes it’s important to remember to let yourself celebrate your accomplishments (big and small) along the way. Acknowledging your “wins” allows you to build up the reservoir of achievements you can dip into and acknowledge when practicing positive self-talk.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Not every day or situation is going to end up a “win,” so to speak, and it’s important to know how to give yourself grace and compassion when life doesn’t go as planned. “With self-compassion, you’re offering yourself kindness. Often we are much harsher towards ourselves than others. Self-compassion can lead to less comparison to others, more open-mindedness, and less self-rumination,” says Kate O’Brien, a psychotherapist and licensed creative arts therapist in private practice in New York City.
According to a study published in 2012 in the Society for Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, exercising self-compassion after a failure can ultimately make you more likely to “get back on the horse” and keep trying. In the study, those who practiced self-compassion following a test failure were more likely to study more before a follow-up test, ultimately leading to an increased likelihood of passing the test.
6. Get Active
You don’t have to be an athlete or a diehard exercise fanatic to reap the benefits of regular exercise. Getting active on a regular basis (even just taking a 30-minute walk most days of the week) can have positive effects on self-esteem.
“Regular exercise has been shown to improve mood and self-esteem, as well as reduce stress and anxiety,” says Amira Martin, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City, pointing to research published in 2020 in the International Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology.
7. Get Enough Sleep
Almost any habit that boosts self-care and overall health can positively impact self-esteem. One surefire way to help you feel better all-around is to make sure you’re getting enough sleep. “Getting more sleep can help improve mood and cognitive function, which can, in turn, enhance self-esteem. It can also improve energy levels and reduce irritability,” Martin says.
In fact, a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine in 2012 found a clear link between sleep duration, sleep quality, optimism, and self-esteem. Participants who regularly got seven to eight hours of high-quality sleep were more optimistic and had higher levels of self-esteem than those who got less than six hours or more than nine hours of sleep each night.
8. Develop New Skills
Personal development that gives you confidence in your abilities, whether at home, work, or in your relationships, can boost your self-esteem. “Developing new skills can increase feelings of competence and achievement, which can help boost self-esteem,” says Martin. This promotes feelings of accomplishment, satisfaction, and positive self-regard, she says.
One study, published in Current Gerontology and Geriatric Research in 2015, found that older adults who participated in a 20-hour computer and technology course were more likely to experience greater self-confidence and improvements in self-esteem related to the skill.
Likewise, another study published in 2018 in Frontiers in Neuroscience found that older adults who dedicated time to learning a foreign language experienced a range of benefits, including improved self-esteem, cognitive functioning, and greater opportunities for social interaction.
9. Make Time for the Things You Enjoy
It may sound like a no-brainer, but doing things that make you feel good are going to help you feel good about yourself, Raja explains. “Engaging in enjoyable activities has been shown to be an effective way to enhance overall emotional health, thereby boosting self-esteem and self-worth.” Research in older adults backs this up.
So remind yourself that carving out time for your favorite hobby, whether it’s painting, dancing, or baking, is important for taking care of your mental health, too.
10. Consider Talking to a Therapist
Self-esteem is impacted by the situations and experiences you face throughout your life, particularly in the family and cultural environment in which you were raised.
“It can be helpful to explore trauma and damage to self-esteem from the past. Working with a mental health therapist can be beneficial in exploring how it began and how to work on it,” suggests Lisa Lawless, PhD, a psychotherapist and CEO of Holistic Wisdom.
If you’ve never sought out therapy before, consider asking another healthcare provider you work with for a recommendation or use Psychology Today’s therapist finder to find a counselor, psychologist, or therapist near you.